most international weird saturday

7 am. hospital date. a small surprise intervention. since there wasn’t any beds, been taken to a presidential room. quite like a 5 stars hotel this room… a time for glamour in hospitals
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(room view)
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8 / 9. exhausting waiting. anxiety. small talk. took my laptop: music always.
brother calling from boston, he said -i am here watching whales but i am there with you. he said – everything will be ok, tell me, tell me which books you like. he always buy me books during his trip, actually books or shoes. I said – “Documenta Kassel”, or “A fortunate man”, or “And our faces, my heart, brief as photos” both by John Berger, or “Dance, Dance, Dance or “After Dark” by Murakami.

Mother called from Brasil, both silent like knowing the feeling with such precision that there was no need to talk about it. Lore, Virgi and my father talking about love affairs of some people we know, laughing.

Wrote a mail to someone very precious to me. Read a mail by sophie telling me she uploaded some Sakamoto music for me, couldn’t wait to download… but net signal was so weak.

9.30 Taken to the surgery room. Collapsing in tears for the major emotion, knowing this was small but couldn’t help. I have a lot of hospital knowledge achieved during my life, will write about it…. For example, there are lots of gay men working inside hospitals, nurses and stretchers (i like that word). They have this very warm, gentle but strong way of handling bodies or even moods. He told me -You will flood the operating room. I laughed. He looked very modern, I liked him.

9.35 My doctor calling me “little one”, telling the only nurse in the operating room that i had this angel face but that i was terrible… The sort of frivolous-nice-talk in the middle of experiencing strong events. Laughed, still polite, closing my eyes, wanting time to be fast. And it was really fast. -It is ok caro, he said, I do not see anything wrong. So this is a good news.

9.45 Back to the presidential room. Happy in a very quiet way and exhausted.

13- 14 -15 and the rest of saturday hours _ Contrast. We planned what nice thing we would eat. Music. Relief. Energy. Chocolates.
Received a mail from jochen. telling me about this fantastic event “Dial a diva”
and that semuin would be playing by 23. So i spent most of the saturday hearing people all around the world doing crazy, bad, hilarious, reading poetry, amazing things.
Semuin was great, such a thrill being connected with all these people… internet is amazing.

Lots of friends love & care. I drawn my self in their pool love.

It was great, or is it just that my state of fascination, so vulnerable. Anyway… i had so much fun hearing it. Imagining people on “gambia” singing. I also received a very nice dancing song from ian “The return of us” by Afg/Delay. Makes me wanna dance right away. Daydreaming of a big party i will do when a get fully recovered. Though i want to dj, i think i want to dance so much that it would be a tough tough choice…